you bet your skin

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floyd flanagan 2005




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3 My habi home


Vinny is alone in his bed. He says to his video diary, "I'm sorry I brought that up. Let's change the subject." He gets up and opens his arms toward the camera like a welcoming host. "This is my habi."

Surveillance in the walls and ceiling cycle through mini-lens views of the apartment: four 8x8x8, white, windowless rooms, the living room, bedroom, food room, and bathroom. There's a bed, storage containers, clothes on the floor, a couch, a few chairs, jewelry and a teddy bear on a table, some travel bags on the floor, and fiber-optic flowers under a fluorescent tree.

"Everything else I would ever want is on my InVision."

Scroll InVision amenities

His view fills with a mishmash of animated ads for SnatchDeals, InfoFun, News Now, GlamFest, FastFriends, Pub Buddies.

Show PubBuddies

A man appears wearing a chef's hat and a full-length barbecuing apron, emblazoned with the title Flamer Man!

"Hey Bud, grab yourself a Bud," says the jovial outdoor cook. A small door on the wall slides open and Vinny takes the cold brew offered him.

Two more Pub Buddies appear in baseball caps labeled Balls Up! and Cockers Rock. On his InVision Vinny is projected into their midst. He pops the brew, salutes his buddies, and drinks.

"Yo, Vin!"

"Say, hey!"

"Say what!"

"What's up?" asks Vinny.

"Cockers and the Balls. Gonna be an incredible game."

"What's the spread?"

"Balls five to three."

"That's crap. Balls will choke and croak."

"No way!"

Flamer Man says, "Hey Vin, check out this Flesh Flamer barbecue. Self-cooking. Self-cleaning. Self-serving. Gonna be some heavy grilling after the game."

"Whoa!" "Sounds hot," chime the buddies.

"Check it out. This little flamethrower will torch a slab of steak faster than you can say black and twitching. I mean we're talking prime, primo, perfectly crispy critters with this little hottie."

"Grease dripping good."

"How much?" asks Vinny.

"Hey, get this: sold separately, it'd be a grand per view for the game, $1,299.99 for the Flamer, and $699.95 for the ribs and beer. Or, get the package deal for, hey get this, only $1,999.99."

The Pub Buddies chime in:

"Are you kidding? That's saving a whole grand?"

"Whoa, I'm getting one of those puppies for my old man."

Flamer Man smiles and turns to Vinny. "So Vin, just say ship it." The buddies wait for his reply.

Ice pops into the InVision. "Vinny, are these guys even for real?"

"Suck off, lady."

"Get her out of here!"

"Don't spoil it, Ice."

"Who invited her to this party anyway," says Flamer Man with a sneer. "OK, Vinny, bottom line, are you buying in with us, or what?

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